Rumours of the original Xbox Live servers’ shut-down are greatly exaggerated, it seems. Watch as the Giant Bomb team plays the old lady out… and out… and out…

Smart work Microsoft. If a thing’s worth doing, it’s worth doing extraordinarily badly and generating an excess of lulz.

1. The tragedy of Mario "I can taste colours!"...
2. Charlie Brooker gets back into gaming Go on, mate. Say "shit-eater" for us....

I’m not the hugest fan of White Knight Chronicles, but this trailer still raised a smile.

The game cuddles up to UK PS3s at the end of the month.

1. Mass Effect 2 trailer showcases Assault class Running and gunning, mostly, plus the odd dose of biotic abracadabra....
2. New Last Guardian trailer and Ueda chat OMG, basically....
3. Final Fantasy XIII TGS trailer Nearly eight whole minutes of melodrama and damage points....

No More Heroes 2: Desperate Struggle features a city called “Santa Destroy”, an evil mega-corporation known as “Pizza Butt”, and it’s just occurred to me that one of the characters is named after the original Emmanuelle actress.

Pop culture taste explosion, here we come.

The game (which is due out on Wii next year) will also help you lose flab. See the evidence, above.

1. Where’s Waldo? On the Wii, apparently Pathological attention seeker gets videogame outing....
2. Alan Wake X10 trailer Wakey wakey, it's almost release day....
3. 10 reasons to put a Wii on your Xmas list They'll prise these nunchuks from our COLD DEAD FINGERS....

What’s the coolest thing you can imagine? Nah, this is better. In another bid to justify the PlayStation 3’s (still sizeable) price tag, Sony’s taken to catapulting them into passing Bravia TVs at 80 kilometres an hour.

Hopefully the other system manufacturers will respond in kind. Microsoft were not available for comment at the time of writing, but we reckon that power brick would slow the Xbox 360 down some. The Wii could probably pip PS3 for speed, being smaller and lighter, but would lack penetration power.

Also, you can’t fire a Wii at a Bravia because they’re not HD-capable. Logic, people, logic.

1. Demon Souls throws down iron gauntlet Come and have a go if you think you're 'ard enough....
2. Modern Warfare 2 shockers – a history in videos Our quick, clip-driven retrospective on all the big reveals and upsets....
3. Uncharted 2 machinima mash-up Three reasons Uncharted 2's video creation features are off the charts....

Charlie Brooker’s one-off Gameswipe show is up on BBC iPlayer. If you don’t know Brooker, he was the gaming media’s official sweary angry bloke before Yahtzee stole the throne a couple of years ago (by which point Charlie had, in any case, long since slipped between the welcoming arms of mainstream – or at least more mainstream – journalism).

Gameswipe’s a bit insipid by his usual standards, but worth a click. Perfect Cherry Blossom: “a firework display being sick”. Keep ‘em coming, Charles.

1. Original Xbox Live refuses to die 'The Xboxalypse is now. Or now. Sorry, I meant NOW. NOWNOWNOW. OK, somebody get the fireaxe.'...
2. The tragedy of Mario "I can taste colours!"...

This one’s an oldie, but worth revisiting. How would Mario cope if he were transplanted to our world? Answer: about as well as Sonic does in three dimensions. Watch out for the naughty language.

1. Original Xbox Live refuses to die 'The Xboxalypse is now. Or now. Sorry, I meant NOW. NOWNOWNOW. OK, somebody get the fireaxe.'...
2. Charlie Brooker gets back into gaming Go on, mate. Say "shit-eater" for us....
3. Sixaxis upgraded to breast-wobbling tool We have seen the future, and it contains b008i3s....